As humans, we place a high priority on happiness. Did you ever think about whether God cares if we are happy? Now, I'm not saying God doesn't care about us. He certainly does. But He has an eternal perspective on what's good for us, while we have to work at looking on things eternal, rather than being caught up in the here and now.
I would appreciate it if anyone could tell me if they have ever found in the Bible where God says He wants us to be happy. I know He wants us to prosper and be in good health. [3John 1:2] I know He says He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. [Romans 8:28] But, what does it mean to "for our good?" What God knows is for our good might not be what we think is our good.
Here's an example from everyday life. We parents want only good things for our children. We also want them to be happy. However, if we say to little Suzy, "Honey, don't play with that knife," she may say, "But it makes me happy to play with this knife." Are we going to let her play with the knife, so she will be happy, or are we going to take it away from her, even if it might hurt her tiny little fingers when we have to pry her grip off of the handle? Well, of course, it's the latter, because we know what is for Suzy's own good better than Suzy does.
I believe God wants us to be content, not necessarily happy. If we find ourselves in circumstances that we consider unpleasant, He is willing to partner with us to change those circumstances, even though our situation is almost always a result of our own choices, whether now or sometime in the past. He doesn't want us to redefine our beliefs of who He is and what His will is, in order to fit what we want to do about our present circumstances.
For example, God has made it abundantly clear in His Word that sex is for marriage only, not before marriage, not with someone else's spouse, not because it "feels good" so you just gotta do it, not because everyone else is doing it. However, I find professing Christians all the time who are in a sexual relationship, even living with their partner, and they are not married. They have twisted and re-framed their beliefs to fit their lifestyle, instead of conforming their lifestyle to God's Word.
What about all of the divorce among Christians these days? God has stated that He hates divorce, and the exception He makes is: If one's spouse has committed adultery, then that person is free to divorce the unfaithful one, and can remarry. He also says that if a believer is married to an unbeliever, and the unbeliever wants to leave, the believer should let them do so. In that case, I'm not so sure if the believer is then free to remarry -- unless the unbeliever does, because then the unbeliever would have been unfaithful. It's highly unlikely that the departing unbeliever would live out his/her days in a celibate lifestyle, so it would be a mute point, in all but the most unusual of cases. Lots of Christians these days seem to think that if they are unhappy in their marriage, God would want them to be happy, so they should be able to just break the contract, walk away, and seek happiness with someone else. I don't see anything in God's Word that would support this belief, and I am concerned for those who hold it.
Just some of my musings on a Saturday, before I leave for a dogsitting job with Bob Barker, the sweetest little girl chihuahua I know.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Zumba is living!
Today would have been my 20th day in a row taking a morning walk, but I didn't do it. Before you get sad about me breaking my new habit, let me tell you that instead, I went to my very first ever Zumba class.
Friends from church who own a dance and fitness studio ran a special yesterday: 5 classes for $19, so I decided now was the time. I had been wanting to try Zumba. At this price, in an environment with people I knew, how could I not? So, I clicked all the right keys on my laptop, authorizing a payment, looked up their class schedule; saw that Zumba classes are at 9am every day (9:30 on Saturdays), and determined to go this morning -- and I did! It was every bit as much fun as I expected it to be. While I knew I wasn't in shape for keeping up for a full hour, I was surprised at how well I did, and when I felt I couldn't keep up, I just kept moving. So glad I'm not an overly-self-conscious teenager who would be embarrassed to do my own thing while the rest of the class is following the instructor! My favorite thing was when we Zumba'd to "Proud Mary" with disco lighting. I did keep up all the way through that song -- and it's a fairly long song. I was proud of myself.
So, I have 4 more Zumba classes paid for -- or I could do other types of classes, if I want to. Then, we'll see what happens. Depends on where I'll be living at that point, as well as my financial situation. Or maybe I can come up with a creative barter deal with the Riebecks.
Oh, yeah, I should let you know how you readers of my blog (if in SFV) could get in on this, too. The website is t4cstudio.com, and the name of it is "Time 4 Class Dance & Fitness Studios." It's located in Chatsworth. Prices are reasonable. They have kids classes, too.
Yesterday, I met my niece Terry in Moorpark, and when she first saw me, she said, "Have you lost weight? It looks like you have." I said I hoped so, and told her it was my 19th day in a row taking a morning walk. It felt pretty good to hear that results were showing. I know I feel like I'm getting toned. (I still look pretty huge in those wall-to-wall mirrors they have at the dance studios, though!)
I'm glad I know about the Slight Edge (see book by Jeff Olson), which basically means taking baby steps, but doing so consistently and with a good attitude. Jeff states that showing up is a major step in winning. Funny that I had decided and started to walk in the mornings before I started reading his book. I had also told myself there would be no distance or time requirements for my morning walks. I was just going to build consistency. Developing the habit of walking regularly was my main goal; it would build later. Now, it has developed into doing Zumba. (I started to say "taking Zumba classes," but it's not taking; it's definitely doing.)
When I was in high school, I loved P.E. classes. Other girls claimed they were on their period nearly every week to get out of the class, whereas I started using tampons when a sophomore, so I wouldn't even miss out on swim days, after our high school got a swimming pool. Muscles I developed working on the farm are still there, ready to respond and be toned up, when I give them the chance to move and groove. Glad to know that. Thank you, Muscles; we'll be getting better acquainted in the days and months ahead.
Friends from church who own a dance and fitness studio ran a special yesterday: 5 classes for $19, so I decided now was the time. I had been wanting to try Zumba. At this price, in an environment with people I knew, how could I not? So, I clicked all the right keys on my laptop, authorizing a payment, looked up their class schedule; saw that Zumba classes are at 9am every day (9:30 on Saturdays), and determined to go this morning -- and I did! It was every bit as much fun as I expected it to be. While I knew I wasn't in shape for keeping up for a full hour, I was surprised at how well I did, and when I felt I couldn't keep up, I just kept moving. So glad I'm not an overly-self-conscious teenager who would be embarrassed to do my own thing while the rest of the class is following the instructor! My favorite thing was when we Zumba'd to "Proud Mary" with disco lighting. I did keep up all the way through that song -- and it's a fairly long song. I was proud of myself.
So, I have 4 more Zumba classes paid for -- or I could do other types of classes, if I want to. Then, we'll see what happens. Depends on where I'll be living at that point, as well as my financial situation. Or maybe I can come up with a creative barter deal with the Riebecks.
Oh, yeah, I should let you know how you readers of my blog (if in SFV) could get in on this, too. The website is t4cstudio.com, and the name of it is "Time 4 Class Dance & Fitness Studios." It's located in Chatsworth. Prices are reasonable. They have kids classes, too.
Yesterday, I met my niece Terry in Moorpark, and when she first saw me, she said, "Have you lost weight? It looks like you have." I said I hoped so, and told her it was my 19th day in a row taking a morning walk. It felt pretty good to hear that results were showing. I know I feel like I'm getting toned. (I still look pretty huge in those wall-to-wall mirrors they have at the dance studios, though!)
I'm glad I know about the Slight Edge (see book by Jeff Olson), which basically means taking baby steps, but doing so consistently and with a good attitude. Jeff states that showing up is a major step in winning. Funny that I had decided and started to walk in the mornings before I started reading his book. I had also told myself there would be no distance or time requirements for my morning walks. I was just going to build consistency. Developing the habit of walking regularly was my main goal; it would build later. Now, it has developed into doing Zumba. (I started to say "taking Zumba classes," but it's not taking; it's definitely doing.)
When I was in high school, I loved P.E. classes. Other girls claimed they were on their period nearly every week to get out of the class, whereas I started using tampons when a sophomore, so I wouldn't even miss out on swim days, after our high school got a swimming pool. Muscles I developed working on the farm are still there, ready to respond and be toned up, when I give them the chance to move and groove. Glad to know that. Thank you, Muscles; we'll be getting better acquainted in the days and months ahead.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Searching for a Home in the Cyber Age
Sitting at the McDonald's in my old 'hood. Came here to use my laptop. Actually sitting in my car, in the shade, with a nice little breeze wafting through my open windows, as I ponder what it would be like to live here again. Definitely not one of the best neighborhoods around, but not the roughest, either. Found a small studio on Victory, near Kester, where the manager called me to come back after I decided not to fill out his app, thinking it would be rejected because of my credit and the fact that he would have to run it by the owner, who didn't get to meet me. Usually, the people I meet are convinced of my sincerity and believe that I will pay the rent -- but if an absentee landlord has to decide, but hasn't met me, he can only go by what he sees on paper -- and I don't look that great in black and white. You have to see the colorful me to get the full picture!
Nice that the manager called me back and said he would help me out, because he believes I will pay the rent. The place itself is clean, and the kitchenette looks like it was just built, with a brand-new, built-in microwave and a refrigerator. The biggest negative is that there is no parking that comes with the apt. (There are some spaces, but not enough for everyone who lives there.) and the street parking is not only very limited, but also has restrictions at certain times of the day; basically, the rush hour times. It is close enough to McD's to park in their lot, so I'd have to become friends with the managers of the various shifts, so I could park here whenever I need to.
Humble Beginnings.... I've been in very humble circumstances before. I can actually name at least 3 vehicles that I have slept in, not just one night while on the road, but for a while. Ah, yes, that was in the days when I was in a cult. Wasn't sure until just now if I was ready to let anyone who finds my blog know about that part of my life -- but don't expect the whole story until I write the book--and even then, I'm sure there must be things I've blocked out of my memory. There are definitely things I have difficulty talking about that I do remember. Only the closest and most trusted of friends have heard details I'm ashamed to speak of or acknowledge.
Is this where the Lord wants me to be at this stage in my life? If so, I'll accept it, and I'll put in my time here, trying to learn whatever the current lessons are. But, I'm concerned that I may not be "tuned in" properly and might commit myself to living someplace that isn't His will.
Even if the neighborhood were great, it's not really close to anything or anyone I want to be near. It's not a huge distance, but it would be nice to live near a dear friend who is just finishing moving, who will be living near where my little Aubrey lives, so I could be readily available to sit her or her dog when Amy needs me, as I am definitely on "the list" of people to call to help out in that way -- and this summer, I just might be at the top of that list. If not there, I have another good friend I would like to see more often, whom I might get to see more if I lived closer to her -- and the rents are generally a little lower in that area.
A one-year lease at this no-parking-available location. That's probably the thing that concerns me the most. I don't want to make a long-term commitment. However, the price is really good; it's a price I should be able to afford, and it will enable me to have money for getting my deferred car repairs, make payments on my unpaid medical bills (related to my broken elbow and subsequent surgery), and maybe even finally get the Nikon D-SLR camera I need to be taken seriously as a photographer. (My 35mm equipment is impressive, but I don't use it anymore, because film and developing are too expensive. Digital is the only way to go these days.)
I am intelligent, gifted, and creative. God wants to bless me and lead me in the way He wants me to go, for my own good. Knowing this, if I yield to Him, pray and listen with my heart, I'm sure He will give me creative ideas to get through this uncertain period in my life. Maybe patience is the lesson I'm to learn now, and it's not an easy one.
From the depths of my heart, I am grateful to all the friends and family who have put up with me, and who have put me up, during the past 3 years, off and on. I had a couple of live-in positions during parts of that 3 years, but the gaps were filled in by friends and family who kept me from having to live in my car. I'm so glad that I helped out some friends back when I was a homeowner, by letting them stay in my new condo (in 1975) and my 3-bedroom house (in 1976), and I also took in a young woman who was battling for custody of her son in 2004. It makes it feel not quite so hard to take that I'm receiving help now. Bless my friend Sandy for reminding me of something I had completely forgotten: Years ago, when she had needed $200 more to be able to go to New York on a missionary trip into the inner city, I said, "I'll give it to you," and immediately wrote her a check for $200. (After she told me that, I didn't feel bad about eating meals with her and her husband while I was staying with them June 3-17. I had enjoyed the meals before the revelation, but afterward, the guilt about costing them money to feed me was gone.) She and Mike were both very sweet to me.
OK, well, I think it's time to leave what may become my new neighborhood and head back to my current temporary residence, with a friend who lives near CSUN. She is in a soon-to-be transitioning status also, but still told me I could stay with her. (She's feeding me most of my meals while I'm there, and I know I never gave her $200, so I'll have to think of some way to repay her.)
Nice that the manager called me back and said he would help me out, because he believes I will pay the rent. The place itself is clean, and the kitchenette looks like it was just built, with a brand-new, built-in microwave and a refrigerator. The biggest negative is that there is no parking that comes with the apt. (There are some spaces, but not enough for everyone who lives there.) and the street parking is not only very limited, but also has restrictions at certain times of the day; basically, the rush hour times. It is close enough to McD's to park in their lot, so I'd have to become friends with the managers of the various shifts, so I could park here whenever I need to.
Humble Beginnings.... I've been in very humble circumstances before. I can actually name at least 3 vehicles that I have slept in, not just one night while on the road, but for a while. Ah, yes, that was in the days when I was in a cult. Wasn't sure until just now if I was ready to let anyone who finds my blog know about that part of my life -- but don't expect the whole story until I write the book--and even then, I'm sure there must be things I've blocked out of my memory. There are definitely things I have difficulty talking about that I do remember. Only the closest and most trusted of friends have heard details I'm ashamed to speak of or acknowledge.
Is this where the Lord wants me to be at this stage in my life? If so, I'll accept it, and I'll put in my time here, trying to learn whatever the current lessons are. But, I'm concerned that I may not be "tuned in" properly and might commit myself to living someplace that isn't His will.
Even if the neighborhood were great, it's not really close to anything or anyone I want to be near. It's not a huge distance, but it would be nice to live near a dear friend who is just finishing moving, who will be living near where my little Aubrey lives, so I could be readily available to sit her or her dog when Amy needs me, as I am definitely on "the list" of people to call to help out in that way -- and this summer, I just might be at the top of that list. If not there, I have another good friend I would like to see more often, whom I might get to see more if I lived closer to her -- and the rents are generally a little lower in that area.
A one-year lease at this no-parking-available location. That's probably the thing that concerns me the most. I don't want to make a long-term commitment. However, the price is really good; it's a price I should be able to afford, and it will enable me to have money for getting my deferred car repairs, make payments on my unpaid medical bills (related to my broken elbow and subsequent surgery), and maybe even finally get the Nikon D-SLR camera I need to be taken seriously as a photographer. (My 35mm equipment is impressive, but I don't use it anymore, because film and developing are too expensive. Digital is the only way to go these days.)
I am intelligent, gifted, and creative. God wants to bless me and lead me in the way He wants me to go, for my own good. Knowing this, if I yield to Him, pray and listen with my heart, I'm sure He will give me creative ideas to get through this uncertain period in my life. Maybe patience is the lesson I'm to learn now, and it's not an easy one.
From the depths of my heart, I am grateful to all the friends and family who have put up with me, and who have put me up, during the past 3 years, off and on. I had a couple of live-in positions during parts of that 3 years, but the gaps were filled in by friends and family who kept me from having to live in my car. I'm so glad that I helped out some friends back when I was a homeowner, by letting them stay in my new condo (in 1975) and my 3-bedroom house (in 1976), and I also took in a young woman who was battling for custody of her son in 2004. It makes it feel not quite so hard to take that I'm receiving help now. Bless my friend Sandy for reminding me of something I had completely forgotten: Years ago, when she had needed $200 more to be able to go to New York on a missionary trip into the inner city, I said, "I'll give it to you," and immediately wrote her a check for $200. (After she told me that, I didn't feel bad about eating meals with her and her husband while I was staying with them June 3-17. I had enjoyed the meals before the revelation, but afterward, the guilt about costing them money to feed me was gone.) She and Mike were both very sweet to me.
OK, well, I think it's time to leave what may become my new neighborhood and head back to my current temporary residence, with a friend who lives near CSUN. She is in a soon-to-be transitioning status also, but still told me I could stay with her. (She's feeding me most of my meals while I'm there, and I know I never gave her $200, so I'll have to think of some way to repay her.)
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Homelessness not so much fun
OK, I'm going to try this again. I blogged yesterday, but nobody would know, because when I found it again, it was a column about an inch wide, and I don't know if the whole thing was even there. But, I have more than one email account, and I just found that I had a Blogger account under a different email than the one I tried with Blogspot yesterday, so here goes.
I've been searching for a place to live, that I can afford on my social security, with very little supplemental income. That's because my main job that supplements my social security is a school-related job (teaching chess after school), and when school is out for the summer, my income takes a nosedive. I'm in that period right now. On Tuesday, I did some diligent searching for a new home. What do I have to show for it? I came home with a parking ticket for $63!!! Now, there's something that someone who is homeless, with a car that desperately needs repairs, REALLY needs -- another bill to pay! I want to fight it, and I think I might have a good chance to win, but I'm wondering if it is really worth my time and the gas money to drive to court wherever I would have to go. So, I might just pay it.
Good news, though! Today, I think I finally found a new place to live. The manager will do whatever he has to do to check on me, and then he will call me in the morning. It's a small studio, but it's in a place that has a pool, and it's only about two miles from my church, and it will be my own place again, after 3 years of living with relatives or friends, or as a live-in nanny in someone else's home (albeit, they were really wonderful someones). It will be so nice to not always be thinking about whether I might be disturbing another person by something I do or don't do.
I don't have much furniture to put into the apartment yet, but that could be a good thing, because it won't be crowded. I'll also have a lot of bare floor space to bring my things, a few boxes at a time, from my storage, to go through my accumulated stuff and glean it down to what I really need or have a true sentimental reason to keep, not just an attachment that brings a false sense of security. I do not want to let my "stuff" get out of hand in my new home. I do know that one way to prevent that is to make sure I always have friends coming over periodically, so I have to keep things organized, so we can comfortably sit and visit -- that is, when I have something to sit on!
I'm looking forward to the adventure of setting up my new little home and making the most of the little bit of space I will have. And I intend to take advantage of having a swimming pool. It's a small one, so if I say (sometime in the middle of summer) that I have just come in from swimming 30 laps in the pool, don't be too impressed; it's only about 15 feet long.
Speaking of exercise, today was my 14th day in a row developing my new habit of taking a walk every morning. So far, I don't require a particular distance, and I have been staying with different friends in different locations, so haven't walked the same paths much, but I am building consistency. That was the requirement I placed on myself: Do it every day, in the morning. When I first started, I was also trying to go for a walk in the afternoon, but with moving around, that has dropped off, but I intend to add that back after I get moved into my new place.
It's getting late, and I'm concerned that this may be boring and of no interest to anyone but myself, so I'm going to sign off and go to bed now. Tomorrow, I get to find out if my homelessness truly is about to end.
I've been searching for a place to live, that I can afford on my social security, with very little supplemental income. That's because my main job that supplements my social security is a school-related job (teaching chess after school), and when school is out for the summer, my income takes a nosedive. I'm in that period right now. On Tuesday, I did some diligent searching for a new home. What do I have to show for it? I came home with a parking ticket for $63!!! Now, there's something that someone who is homeless, with a car that desperately needs repairs, REALLY needs -- another bill to pay! I want to fight it, and I think I might have a good chance to win, but I'm wondering if it is really worth my time and the gas money to drive to court wherever I would have to go. So, I might just pay it.
Good news, though! Today, I think I finally found a new place to live. The manager will do whatever he has to do to check on me, and then he will call me in the morning. It's a small studio, but it's in a place that has a pool, and it's only about two miles from my church, and it will be my own place again, after 3 years of living with relatives or friends, or as a live-in nanny in someone else's home (albeit, they were really wonderful someones). It will be so nice to not always be thinking about whether I might be disturbing another person by something I do or don't do.
I don't have much furniture to put into the apartment yet, but that could be a good thing, because it won't be crowded. I'll also have a lot of bare floor space to bring my things, a few boxes at a time, from my storage, to go through my accumulated stuff and glean it down to what I really need or have a true sentimental reason to keep, not just an attachment that brings a false sense of security. I do not want to let my "stuff" get out of hand in my new home. I do know that one way to prevent that is to make sure I always have friends coming over periodically, so I have to keep things organized, so we can comfortably sit and visit -- that is, when I have something to sit on!
I'm looking forward to the adventure of setting up my new little home and making the most of the little bit of space I will have. And I intend to take advantage of having a swimming pool. It's a small one, so if I say (sometime in the middle of summer) that I have just come in from swimming 30 laps in the pool, don't be too impressed; it's only about 15 feet long.
Speaking of exercise, today was my 14th day in a row developing my new habit of taking a walk every morning. So far, I don't require a particular distance, and I have been staying with different friends in different locations, so haven't walked the same paths much, but I am building consistency. That was the requirement I placed on myself: Do it every day, in the morning. When I first started, I was also trying to go for a walk in the afternoon, but with moving around, that has dropped off, but I intend to add that back after I get moved into my new place.
It's getting late, and I'm concerned that this may be boring and of no interest to anyone but myself, so I'm going to sign off and go to bed now. Tomorrow, I get to find out if my homelessness truly is about to end.
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